It's a new week this week and I've got a few things lined up. I've paid my rent and got my shopping I'm also going back to Lancashire to see my family too until next week then I be home then I'll be away with the faeries, so busy few weeks you could say.
I'm sat here watching out my window to my garden thinking how overgrown it's getting but last night I went outside and sat in the grass and I looked deeper in. I saw a resting bumble bee on a flower and I saw many caterpillars and a few beetles. Sometimes it's nice to watch the world go by from a different angle. It was very soggy too and I got a wet bum.
It's the 1st August today and I' celebrating living in North Wales for a year, I can't believe I've lived here a year, it's flown by. I got more things from what I brought with me, mostly clothes and colouring books and have a printer and a laptop too.
It's crazy how time has flown by.
What can I say I've learnt about this past year living here, well I've been learning how to live in my own company, how to entertain myself, seeing what's around me and not to be afraid to get lost in a new places and don't be afraid to cry.
This has been one of the biggest moves of my life not just physically but mentally too. I never thought I'd move out of Pendle again but I did, I go back every month to see my family and a few friends.
I'm hoping for new changes this autumn I'm looking forward to getting back to university and getting back into the routine of creating things in the workshop again. From October I'll have to work really hard and come up with exciting things for each module and make plenty of samples, do plenty of research and lots of sketchbook ideas, I've been told that second year is hard but got to do well if I want to come out with fantastic grades when I get my degree in 2018. I hope I get to mix the materials too instead of sticking to the one area it's something I'll ask about.
As a person who believes in astrology I check my horoscope each day and check my short forecast for each 6 month on astro.com reading for the next 6 months things are meant to improve by October for me.. lets see if it's correct and things do improve.
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude towards things right now and do as much as I can but unfortunately I struggle with some things sometimes little or big depending on the way you look at them. I always feel like there's two sides to me the negative and the positive.
Someday's I feel less motivated and I don't leave the house I sit on my laptop all day and just browse on Pinterest or FB and talk to some of my friends who also understand me. I make a brew and some food and watch the day pass me by.
Sometimes I wake up and I'm excited about my day, I jump in the shower then get dressed, pack a bag and go out for the day. I go somewhere interesting and enjoy myself. Wherever I go I always look for a nice tearoom or cafe and sit and have a nice brew in different surroundings.
I sometimes I feel like that I'm not good enough for anything I do. I feel like I don't deserve a place where I am and I don't feel like I'm worthy of any of the things I've done over the past 5 years. I feel my eyes are worthy of seeing the things I've seen.
I feel proud of where I am with my life and what I've achieved. I also feel blessed that I've had people in my life that have wanted to share an adventure with me and taken me places with them as well as gone places on my own.
I love to make memories I love to keep my happiest memories. If I go somewhere new I always make sure I have my camera with me so I can record my memories by a photograph. With photographs I can look back and I can remember and I can smile.
Some moments of my adult life I haven't photographed but I remember them like the June of my 21st year I got the chance to see the rock band Bon Jovi with a friend but it was a great day.
I look forward to making more happy memories as my life goes on. This is the only time my Anxiety doesn't attack me. I keep my mind open not to an event which I know is going to happen but keeping the path empty, those trees haven't been planted yet.
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