- Where am I going to live when I finish university?
- How am I going to pay my rent?
- Where am I going to get the money to get food?
- I don't want to go back to that place where I was before...
I'm worried constantly about my future when I leave university. I'm worried that it's going to be a waste of 3 years of my life..
My Depression - I also feel alone. I feel like no matter whatever I do within my life I'll never be good enough.. :
- I'm a waste of space
- Am I really good enough
- Do I really deserve this?
- I'm not good enough
- No matter how hard I try I still feel like a f**k up
I feel like don't deserve what I've achieved or what I've got..
I have this friend I get to see them sometimes once a week or sometimes it's longer depending on their own personal life or work life. My anxiety comes to play here too. Every week when I text this person I worry that it'll be the last text or when I speak to them on the phone I worry that'll be the last too, and when I see them I also worry that will be the last time I see them. One of the biggest fears in my life is LOSING this amazing person as over the past year and a half they have been such a wonderful support with my dreams, this person has never given up on me and my (silly little) dreams. And I love this person so much. I love the fact they take out a few hours in their week to come over and see me for a brew and a chat.
This dear reader isn't a sympathy shout out I'm just wanting to tell you what I feel on a day to day basis.
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